These were the words I used before I learned to love and appreciate my natural hair. Over the last 14 years rather than dealing with my natural hair, I felt it was a lot easier to deal with someone else hair. Meaning, I found myself stopping by a local beauty supply store to purchase hair that was silky straight, kinky straight, deep body wave, you name, I was buying it! Besides, It was certainly going to be a lot easier than managing my own hair!
When I use the term “natural”, in my situation it solely means not flat ironing, curling, or wearing hair extension and wigs. Since I preferred wearing my hair straight, I dreaded the idea of having to straighten my hair every time I had an encounter with sweat, humidity or rain. At the time, I was not wearing a relaxer and I worked out on a regular basis. To prevent my hair from “sweating-out” and becoming frizzy after my work-out, I tried wearing a swimming cap and wrapping not one, but two scarfs around my hair to prevent it from reverting back to its natural kinky curly form. After two failed attempts, I came to realization this was not going to work! It was impossible to wear my own hair with out having to straighten it consistently, since I didn’t have a relaxer. What was a girl to do? Hummm….of course, head back down to the local beauty supply store and buy some hair that was more tolerable to sweat, humidity and rain.
Before going “natural” by my definition, there was a solution to get rid of my frizzy hair offered by a former guy I dated. When faced with my poofy, frizzy hair he suggested I put the “white stuff” on my hair his mother used. I figured the “ white stuff” meant a hair relaxer. I did not follow his suggestion, instead I continued to wear my extensions. A few years later, another attempt to wear my hair natural I was told by another former guy I dated, “Well your hair MIGHT look alright if it was longer”. Of course this made me feel insecure and I became much too afraid to make the transition. Besides, my hair was to my chin while natural, and I wasn’t sure how much longer he meant, and how long it would take to look great by his means. Silly me! Anyway, because I allowed another guy I was dating to influence my decision on whether or not to rock my natural black hair, I decided to revert back to my comfort zone, my good friend deep body wave 1B.
Okay, well 3 years later and in a new relationship on my 1year wedding anniversary I decided I wanted to try something new. I had been looking at YouTube video’s and saw a cute style a lot of natural women were wearing. The oh so famous twist out! I was a little hesitant about trying to go natural again; I did not know how my husband who is white would take the fact my hair was no longer going to be silky straight.
Well, the morning after my experimentation I took down my two-strand twist, and surprisingly my husband absolutely LOVED my hair. I was told that I looked even MORE beautiful and he would hope that I keep my hair this way! Wow, what a shocker! He then flooded me with compliments the whole day. I’m not sure if he realized this, but this helped me tremendously in my decision to stay natural. For the first time, I was encouraged to embrace my natural beauty. I’m not going to lie, this was definitely a boost to my confidence and one of the main reasons I decided to stop wearing weaves and start wearing my hair natural. Besides, If my husband appreciated my natural beauty, why was it so hard for me not to?
Some women may not agree with me, but the support from my husband was very helpful in my decision. I know you need to be comfortable with your own beauty and other opinions shouldn’t matter. However, in my case it did. It was important for me to know that the man I was in a relationship with would continue to be attracted to me, even when I did not have long silky straight hair. I believe the opinions of the guys I dated previously played a huge impact on my decision not to wear my hair natural.
After being encouraged by my husband and best friend, I stopped straightening my hair and wearing extensions and decided to learn how to maintain my own hair. I’ve enjoyed trying several styles like bantu knot out, twist out, two strand twist to name a few. I’m now having fun learning about my own hair and realizing it’s just as easy to take care my hair, as it is extensions or wigs. I can now say proudly “I Love My Natural Black Hair!”
Please share any of your experiences with transitioning to natural hair. We’d love to hear! Leave a comment